|Both photos from an exhibit at the Reina Sofia Museum in Madrid. I thought I would remember the very interesting artist's name. I've researched and can't even track it down.|
I must congratulate myself for something I find myself doing more often these days. Lemons to lemonade. Or maybe it's thinking about lemonade when I could be thinking lemons.* Or maybe it's just softening my vision a little when I view something "real" and let in the knowing that there may be more to the situation than meets the eye. I know Abraham often speaks of focusing or sharpening focus, but with "reality", I think it may be good to blur things a little or step back enough so the focus isn't so sharp.
I worked on Monday. Mostly my day was blissful and I had one contrasty class with a heavy dose of bliss as seasoning. I knew about this job ahead of time and I don't think the sub robot even called me. So I did think it was odd when the robot called on Friday requesting me for the same teacher the following Wednesday, which was yesterday. It turned out to be a mistake. I had turned down two full-day jobs on Wednesday. Yes, I got paid for a half-day because of the mistake (I actually stayed and worked since I was already up and dressed and eager to see kids), but I noticed throughout the morning that I had begun to think about those two jobs like they were a better option. I could see where that line of thinking would take me and, wouldn't you know it, Abraham had just asked the question, "Would you rather be right or would you rather feel good?" on the CD I'd been listening to in the car on the way to school.
Many in my situation would feel wronged and most would agree it was justified. I could have chosen to go there and I could have called it another Step One clarifying moment. Instead, when I heard those thoughts knocking at the back door, I said, just loudly enough to drown them out, "I don't have to think about that right now," and went on with what I was doing.
Besides, teachers are a lot like students. When we're let out of school unexpectedly, we don't mind. In fact there were a lot of disappointed teachers because there had been so much talk of a snow day that never materialized for them and here I was getting half a snow day in a way.
I decided to make a bold move. I pointed my car South and called a friend who works downtown. She wasn't available, but was happy I'd called. I called another friend who works across town with her family and she said to come on over. I was envisioning a cup of tea and a look at our schedules to make future plans. It was 11am and I had a 3:30 appointment and pleasantly vague plan to pick up some organic veggies in her neighborhood. This would be fun. When I arrived at this very beautiful home, I was surprised to see that her mom, who is usually hard at work during the day, was at home with a cold. My friend and I coffee-klatched in the kitchen for a while and I was going to make myself scarce right after my cuppa so that they could get on with their day. I am so lucky to have this friend. She is fairly new to Abraham, but she is just a phenomenal woman and is seemingly absorbing the knowledge through her pores. So it's fun to have someone with whom to be completely open on the subject. She also played me some beautiful music she had recorded for me and we danced just a little which, of course, releases resistance and raises the vibration. What I love about this particular friend is her ability to have fun. She loves to laugh and we did plenty of that. Since both she and her mom were there, the work that they do was halved and there was space for conversation. Her mom joined us and the conversation just soared. We laughed and listened to each other's stories, though I'm sure I told the bulk of them. We just enjoyed each other's company. It was moving and uplifting and FUN! I would say that we all got into the Vortex at the same time and when I left there I was just buzzing with good energy.
I made it to my appointment with little time to spare. I did some pre-paving on the way, because this was my second appointment with an occupational therapist to work on creating ease and flow in my right wrist. I also realized that the "stim" they do on my wrist takes 15 minutes and so do the Abraham meditations, which I have put on my Blackberry, so I had brought along my earphones in preparation. I do the stim before I work with the OT, so I was in a good space when she brought her lovely self into the room. The wonderful thing about these treatments is that I get to meet very interesting people and to chat with them, and I really liked this woman's vibe. It had occurred to me that I might want to change the steps of the typical patient-practitioner dance. I sensed she was someone I could ask to envision me as well and to see my tendon as lithe and freely-moving in its sheath. I gave her the invitation and she accepted it. We had a lovely conversation and spoke of many things: of shoes--and ships--and sealing wax....she even told me about this:
which tells you that she and I are on the same page.
I listened to the new CD on my way to and from the appointment and, as often happens, found a song I became obsessed with. I deny any firsthand knowledge of headbanging, but I am most appreciative of certain shredding metal solos--they just do something to me. After some research, I found that this guitar god was none other than Kirk Hammett of Metallica. He's featured on this cut "If Rap Gets Jealous" by the wonderful Somalian poet and hip-hop artist, K'Naan. The hot solo comes at the end of the song and if you're going for the full experience TURN IT UP AND DANCE:
And here is a mellower K'Naan with Tracy Chapman:
A fully fun day that led into a nice sleeping experience. No surprise that I awakened with lots of new ideas. Here's one:
I'm going to be aware of my thoughts during routines that often are rife with Step One moments. Routines like dressing, grooming, looking in mirrors. I'm sometimes hurrying through these activities and I know the negative thinking is there, because some of the negative emotion and the sensations of activation are there, though it's can be very subtle. Perhaps, I thought, I could turn these times into opportunities for deliberate creation. I could choose what to think about and see where those thoughts lead me. Choose the subject, don't let the subject choose me, I thought.
I decided then, to think on purpose this morning as I was showering and applying toner and moisturizer and readying my skin for cosmetics and applying them and drying my hair, etc. I chose to think about reading "Animal Farm" to the young man earlier this week. I basked in those thoughts long enough so that other thoughts like them began rushing in, only these were new thoughts. Ideas about how to introduce students to their autonomic nervous systems and their triune brains with games and activities. So many ideas that I had to switch to a larger notebook to contain them at one point. And it was fun to think about and they were stimulating and creative ideas.
And as I was writing this, I got a call from a delightful woman I met a while back who has a great interest in Peter Levine and Somatic Experiencing, and we're making plans. So there you have it. Getting into the Vortex creates all kinds of unexpected and wonderful things to materialize in your life.
The Vortex Diary started as an experiment in documenting just what happens when I deliberately get into the Vortex on a regular basis. Here's what is true for me:
I get in more often.
I stay longer.
When I'm out, it's easier to get back in.
Because now if I'm not in, I'm at least in the neighborhood.
*I actually like the taste of lemons and often don't find them that sour.