Saturday, December 25, 2010

Abraham-The Twelve Hawks of Christmas

This starts out just like the last few postings:
I got up this morning and meditated and did a focus wheel.

I think that's so cool. I'm making meditation and focus wheels a habit. In part, the Vortex Diary helps reinforce this pattern as I celebrate all my Vortextual experiences. So, thank you, readers and subscribers, I really appreciate you all.

Since I've been tracking pain/strong sensation in my right arm, I found it interesting that I felt a big "ouch" right after I staked my claim to the quiet living room for my 10 minutes of quiet at around 8 AM. My partner didn't express any displeasure, take a tone with me or do anything yet I was able to supply a soundtrack of scary, dissonant brain squawks as I walked unaccompanied through a thicket of my thoughts. Thoughts like: "But it's Christmas!" (So?)
"What an inconvenience!" (10 minutes?)
"So pushy!" (Well, yeah.)
"Where's he supposed to go while you're hogging the living room? (For 10 minutes?)

Notice that my rumination brain always speaks emphatically. And accusatorially. I love that paying attention to a sensation in my arm allowed me to access the negative thoughts. Other physical sensations included a tightness in my thorax which caused my shoulders to cave in a little, and what I would call an antsy feeling in my stomach--a kind of throb, I suppose. So, okay, I'm feeling all that, so....????

So, I'm not in the Vortex after meditating. I feel okay, just not great. Activities I have opted for in the past under these familiar conditions:
-eat something salty or sugary or starchy
-get busy with all the things I had to do
-drink something with caffeine
-watch some tv
-do something mindless
-go shopping-resent some people who seem to have it better than I do
-blame others for anything that's about to go wrong because something always goes wrong when I get into one of these "episodes"

After becoming aware of the physical sensations, listening to the negative thoughts and identifying the negative emotions as fear and guilt (this took less than 5 minutes), my task was to find the negative statement clarifying what I don't want:
"I feel guilty if I think I am bumming someone out by taking care of myself."

Which led to the positive statement for the center of my focus wheel:
"I feel confident and stable in my Vortex."

So there I was sitting in my chair with the beginning of my focus wheel and feeling a bit icky and doubting that this process was going to have an affect. I didn't even know what my first statement would be about and how would I get all twelve completed. Here are the first few statements:

1. I trust that the Universe can sort out the details of me taking care of myself.
2. I know the Universe can provide avenues for me to get what I want w/out robbing someone else of their desires.(After this statement I felt a lot of relief and a release of pressure in my stomach and thorax.)
3. I think I can relax and let the Universe orchestrate all the details beautifully. (More relief as well as a sensation of open airiness in my chest and core.)
4. I know that my actions cannot keep anyone else from accessing their own Vortex.

The relief comes from letting go of the resistance to well-being and joy, which are our birthrights. So I discovered that somewhere along the way, I picked up the belief that if I'm having fun, it's probably bumming someone out. That if I please myself, it's at the expense of another. So in a few short minutes of focused thought, a deep-seated belief (and a deep-seated belief is simply a thought that has been picked up somewhere, thought again and again and therefore amplified) is changed by examining it only a bit and by activating other thoughts that are much more helpful.

So I got into my Christmas Vortex. And here's what happened while I was in....
Made a delicious green drink (the celery, cucumber, kale combo w/a little apple). Appreciated its beauty and savored its taste.
Remembered to take a picture of it.
Opened Christmas presents (anecdote to follow in another posting).
Watched fabulous partner opening Christmas presents, which was really fun.
Performed several tasks in joy, at a comfortable pace in cooperation with my wonderful partner.
Reveled in my lovely hot shower.
Looked into the mirror and smiled at myself and appreciated my own beauty.
Started to hurry while grooming and dressing but told myself that there is no hurry in the Vortex and relaxed.
Got out of the house late for our trip to Portland for our Christmas movie date.
Found out that we were all going to a later movie; took my foot off the gas and slowed way down to appreciate the beautiful day and the gorgeous scenery along the freeway, which is there if you look.

It was then that I saw my first hawk. A big one. High up on a branch of a bare tree. We took in the beautifully sunlit snowy mountain contrasting with the darkness of the surrounding hills. We admired the tree limb fractals. Then, another hawk. Big again. Back facing the freeway. Wow.After those first two I said, "Hawk, hawk, number three. Come and show yourself to me,"and within minutes it did.

This went on throughout the hour-long trip. Beauty; appreciation; more beauty; hawk. We turned on the radio just after a dramatic reading of "A Christmas Carol" began which added greatly to the pleasure of our ride. Each time we saw another of the magnificent birds, we again marveled at the beauty of Oregon and commented on the great fortune of being in hawk country. After the first four, I tried to guess how many hawks we might see and I came up with 13. Almost--we saw 12 hawks in that one hour in the vortex. And the highly entertaining reading (by actor Al Lepage, we discovered) ended just after we exited from the Banfield. I turned the corner on Water Avenue and pulled into the parking lot in front of the building which houses the restaurant, Clarklewis. We needed to decide on our next destination, but were still chatting about the wonderful ride and about those twelve hawks, that my partner was now calling "The Twelve Hawks of Christmas". As I began to take in my surroundings, I was amused and delighted to note that that the Universe had led me to park in a space clearly labeled with the number 12.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Abraham-Christmas Eve Vortex

**Thank you to everyone who is emailing me with encouraging words. I'm having fun with this blog and I'm happy to think that others are enjoying it, too. I will get back to people personally after the Big Day.**

I'm in the groove of meditating for 10 minutes in the morning now (it seems like I add a little after the timer goes off, too). I used to need total silence--isolation, even--in order to meditate, but this morning there was noise in the house and I did fine. I'm making it a habit to bask in my bed before going to sleep because that usually gets me into the Vortex and then chances are good that I will wake up close to or in the Vortex and bask again. This morning when I awoke I was pretty excited because I had an idea of some things I needed to accomplish and I was eager to see if I could stay in the Vortex all day long. And here's the really cool thing to me--I was excited to get to my chair to meditate and really excited to do a focus wheel. Wow!

Sidebar: I omitted a HUGE synchronistic part of my story yesterday. I chose to do one of my focus wheels on "I lovingly don't give a rip what others think of me." Some time later I was on my way to Portland and I put in the San Rafael CD#3 that I mentioned yesterday. A gentleman was asking a whole series of questions (one about sex which provided material for the Abrahams to demonstrate their fairly raunchy sense of humor). His last question won't be a surprise, I'm sure. It was "How can I not give a rip what others think of me without hurting them?"

While these personal messages are now an almost everyday occurrence, I still find them exciting. But it didn't stop there. Abraham had him repeat his question several times until it was phrased almost exactly as I had written it that morning, "How can I lovingly not give a rip what others think of me?" End of Sidebar

Okay, so I stayed in the Vortex pretty much all day yesterday and decided to track when I got spit out and why. HMMMMM, it just happened to be when I felt even the slightest whisper of disapproval or misunderstanding from someone with whom I was interacting. And I mean nuances of expression or tone or gesture that might even hint in that direction.

I know that anyone who is disapproving of me is doing so because they are temporarily disconnected from Source, so they cannot see me through the eyes of source. How often, I asked myself, am I doing the same thing? When I am worried about someone, when I wonder why someone wants to focus on reality when it scares or saddens them, when someone tells a negative story and I know what they are attracting, I am judging them. Yes, I want everyone to feel good, I want everyone to reap the benefits of directing their thoughts and having life be easy and fun. It is, however, not my job to be in their business in any way.

The "what-I don't-want" statement for the focus wheel today: "I don't want to judge people."

Statement in the center of the focus wheel: "I want to see everyone through the eyes of Source."

I knew that I have no trouble seeing some people through the eyes of Source and I knew that this is a fun experience. I also knew that lists of positive aspects about people that I know would be helpful. I knew that catching myself doing that thing that I do that disconnects me from Source and then affirming my worthiness/preciousness would be great. I knew that the larger part of me is Source energy. Soon I had 12 statements and I immediately began a journal called "Book of Positive Aspects". What was really cool was that I started to see patterns. I'd be thinking about one friend and I'd come up with a word and realize that it really applied to all my friends. Almost everyone I know and love has "Seeker" under their name. Also "Intuitive". And "Gentle". And "Loving". I was just marveling at the beauty of all of the people I know and I could feel my heart expanding and I can feel that right in this moment as I type this.

Another thing I'm doing has to do with a pesky, long-standing tendinitis issue that up to now has gotten a little better, then a little worse, then a little better, then a lot worse. I've had plenty of time and opportunity to Abraham-ize my analysis of this situation, but mostly I've just been observing it, complaining about it (mostly to myself, but still....) and just generally getting used to limiting the use of my right hand. Typing, artwork, using scissors, scrubbing, throwing, catching, arm-crossing, carrying, picking up and putting down, clothing removal (pants and socks) all are things I've either stopped doing or adapted to doing by other means. Gift: I've gotten really good with my left hand.

Here's what Abraham says about unwanted physical conditions: If you have some negative emotion and you don't do anything about it, don't worry, it will get bigger. If you don't use your negative emotions as guidance to redirect your thoughts; if you just observe what's in front of you, and respond positively only when reality is the way you prefer it to be and respond negatively to what you don't want thereby attracting more of what you don't want, you end up with negative patterns of thought. And this is not about the big issues, this is about the little niggly bothers--the "I wish-he-would-pick-up-his-underwear's," and the "Getting-old-is-just-not-that-much-fun's" that we sloppily think on a regular basis. We get used to feeling blechk about ourselves and our lives and eventually this manifests physically. And if we don't pay attention to the physical manifestation, it becomes chronic, like tendinitis.

So here's what I'm trying. I'm tracking my everyday activities for unconscious thoughts, sensations or emotions and it's a real goldmine. Longstanding negative thoughts about my body pop up. Again, not the big "I'm a huge fat worthless slob," followed by other self-recrimination. This is the more subtle, almost out-of-conscious-range combo of thought-sensation-emotion that happens as I look at my reflection in the mirror and give a quick eye-roll, for instance. Or the heaving sigh when I notice a blemish. Or the focus on how long it takes me to do maintenance on this older body and face. Wow, that's a lot of negative emotion. Now there are times when I look at myself in the mirror and love what I see, but more often than not I am tolerating what I see--again, not seeing myself through the eyes of source.

So now, when I feel a twinge in my thumb, wrist, or forearm, I use the surefire, "I must be doing that thing that I do, aren't I precious?" And I try to track what it was I was thinking about when the unpleasant sensation occurred. I've had a LOT less pain and the pain ALWAYS ceases as I track the thought. And here I am typing away for an hour a day or more, which in the past was very irritating. And I'm doing more of the above-mentioned activities with fewer symptoms. Cool!

So, I have a couple of neat little stories from today. I was in Best Buy looking for some X-Box products (points and a controller). I didn't really know what I was looking for and when I got to the gaming area, I felt lost. Not a sales person in sight. Whoa, I thought, I'm in the Vortex and I can just ask and it will be given. Besides, it's a safe bet that you'll find gamers in the gaming area. I stood for a moment looking over the crowd. A guy with a baby and a 5-yr-old boy just shined with a little extra light. I asked him one question, and within seconds was being generously guided through the gaming area with every question answered before I asked it. His kids were gorgeous, he was a great dad and just delightful to be with. He spent a good 10 minutes explaining things to me and since the best controller was out of stock, he directed me to Target, whose inventory he knew by heart as well. Extremely pleasant interaction.

On to Macy's to get a gift card. I speculated aloud to Herb that maybe Macy's had a gaming department. I got into the store and realized I just didn't know the layout. I decided to get the gift card and maybe ask someone. The saleswoman behind a makeup counter had no customers so I asked for the gift card and while I was at it if she knew if Macy's carried X-Box products. No, she said. "I know we don't have any of that because my son is really into the X-Box so I'm up an on all of that stuff."

She then gave me some ideas about where I might shop. Nice!

I did find the points cards I wanted at Target, but we quit shopping in order to get to 24 Hour Fitness (that's todays picture because pools and water are so Vortex-inducing for me). Afterwards, we decided to try Fred Meyer. I don't know the electronics department well, I wasn't wearing my glasses and all the sales people were busy. There was, however, a group of what struck me as electronics-oriented guys with a definite Bill Gates vibe sort of milling in the front section of the department. Perfect.

"You guys know where the X-Box area is?" I ask.

In unison, with perfectly synchronized thumb thrusts and direction-indicating neck bends, they chorused, "Over there."

Ask and it is given. Times six.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Abraham-YouTube Crazy Good Abraham Vortex Videos

Yikes, these are GOOD!!!! And funny.

Abraham-A 2-Focus-Wheel-Day

*The photo is one I took at the Sagrada Familia, the gigantic, unfinished Church in Barcelona designed by the phenomenal forward thinking architect, Antoni Gaudi. These are the pipes of the organ reflecting the stained-glass windows.

A focus wheel is a process designed to bridge a negative belief to a more positive belief on any subject about which you have resistance. It's a way to close the gap between where you currently are to where you have expanded to. So you write down the negative belief you have: "I don't have enough money."

On another piece of paper you put a circle in the middle and the improved belief for which you are reaching in that circle. You are always reaching for the improved feeling/improved vibration. because anything we want to do or be or have, we want because we believe it will make us feel better. So what feeling matches prosperity? Is it ease? Is it freedom? Is it fun? It depends on who you are. So you find a statement: "I want to feel the ease of having prosperity in my life," and put it into the middle of the focus wheel.

Then you find a statement that you believe that matches that feeling: "I know there are people who feel easy about money who once felt like I currently feel."

You choose statements that you resonate with that raise your vibration a little, you focus on those statements and in as little as 17 seconds you will begin attracting more thoughts like those. You choose thoughts you absolutely believe that don't give you any kind of uneasy feelings or--because I am a Somatic Experiencing practitioner--any uncomfortable sensations in your body. To put it more positively, does the statement cause pleasurable sensations? The first statement goes on the wheel. Templates and more info:

Abraham likens this process to getting onto a merry-go-round that's already spinning. A statement that you don't truly believe will not get you on the wheel. "I know that prosperity is just around the corner," would throw many people off in the bushes--it's too far a distance from the current belief and thus the gap is too big to bridge.

You do this until you have 12 statements on the wheel that you believe and that are aligned with the statement in the center. Things like, "I have experienced feeling ease about money in the past," "I know people who are prosperous and feel easy about money," "I believe that directing my thoughts can change my beliefs about money," "I feel more ease about money right now in this moment as I re-read these statements," and so on.

My first focus wheel took me about 45 minutes and I didn't do another one for a long time. This may be why I only stumbled into the Vortex now and again and why I was booted out so easily. I needed a little practice. Now focus wheels take me closer to 15 minutes and I find them to be tickets into the Vortex. I just heard on Disc 3 of the 2010 San Rafael seminar that Esther does thousands of focus wheels a year.

Okay, sidebar for a moment of synchronicity: I've been typing as my husband watched a movie he had DVR'd. He erased the movie and switched to live tv. The first thing I hear is from the speaker on the screen is, "You've got to have a focus..." Thanks, Universe, for confirming that the Vortex Diary is a good use of my time.

So, I meditated this morning and got into the Vortex. I had a lot going on today, and since I felt so wonderful after my 10-minute meditation, I almost stopped there. However, since I know that focus wheels stabilize my Vortex residency, I did a focus wheel. MMMM! It was so delicious and I had worked myself up so far on the emotional scale, I decided to introduce a subject that spits me out of the Vortex regularly.

The statement in the middle was, "I lovingly do not give a rip what anyone thinks about me."

That was a fun focus wheel and I felt really, really stable in the Vortex. Off I went onto my adventure. They say that things go better for you when you're in the Vortex--that things line up and that life is easier. I knew I was going to be a little late for my first appointment. And when I started to feel a throbbing tightness in my chest and began to hurry and felt that negative thoughts were in the vicinity, I soothed myself with statements like, "Time is irrelevant in the Vortex," and "Things always work out for me," and "What others think of me is none of my business."

It turned out that being 15 minutes late was not an issue at all. Had I been anxious and begun speeding to make up the time, I might have lined up with a ticket. I saw 3 people pulled over on the freeway.

I made my way through a pleasant few hours until I was to pick up my son and found myself with about 30 minutes to spare. I decided to follow my impulses and stop somewhere to get something to drink or to pick up some things I needed. I was taking a different route than usual to my son's house and I realized that I was going to be passing New Seasons. Well, it was Christmas Eve Eve and the traffic was heavy and the parking lot was full of double parked and circling cars. But, remember, I was in the Vortex, so I wasn't worried. I navigated to the one empty spot which seemed to be invisible to the the circlers. Thank you, Universe, I appreciate that, I thought. Two women smiled and greeted me as I made my way into the store. I wandered the perimeter of the store and enjoyed some terrific food samples. I found a ginger cake with a lemon glaze on sale. I knew my husband and I would enjoy this after Christmas Eve dinner and I thought that it would be even better with whipped cream. I started to grab an 8 oz. container and notice that there's an organic one on sale for an even lower price. I meandered to produce. Now while I was meandering and wandering, nothing stood in my way. The store was extremely crowded and I noticed others being blocked and having to squeeze through the aisles, but that was not my experience. After gazing at the beautiful fruits and vegetables for a moment, I decided on two plump Satsumas with glossy leaves still attached. Just then a young girl plopped a big bag of cucumbers into a cart parked next to me. Oh, yes, I thought, I want to get my green juice ingredients: cucumbers, celery and kale. Thanks, Universe, for the reminder. At that point I was carrying my purchases and now I needed a basket. As I walked out of the produce area, an employee approached to ask if I was ready to check out. No, I said, I'm looking for a basket. Another staff person just happened to be walking by with a stack of baskets so I didn't even have to go to the front of the store.

It turned out that celery $.79/lb and cucumbers were at least a half-dollar cheaper than what I usually pay. And the kale at New Seasons was absolutely beautiful, and again, cost less than I usually pay.

As I got in line to check out, another register opened up and I was able to check out quickly. I wheeled my goodies to my car and noticed an actual traffic jam in the parking lot. There was a string of about 5 cars clogging one lane of the lot and others waiting to enter from the street were actually blocking my car. No one was moving, it seemed. I unloaded my groceries and ran my cart back to the store. By the time I returned, the lot was clear and off I went. Total time elapsed: 24 minutes. I got to my son's house 5 minutes early!

Yay! I love the Vortex and I love Abraham. And two focus wheels really revved up my day and the San Rafael workshop is amazing.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Abraham-Hello From The Vortex

(I'm not sure what's going on with the differing text sizes, but it just won't cooperate right now. But that's okay, I'm still in the Vortex.)

I LOVE Abraham!!! I am all about Abraham.

There is great love for you here, Abraham.

I first heard the words of Abraham channeled through our beloved Esther Hicks's vocal cords about 4 years ago, I believe. While I am a lifelong seeker, I rejected the esoteric arts as a young woman because I didn't want to be like my mother. In fact, I remember hearing in the late 80's that there was this woman who channeled nonphysical beings who called themselves Abraham and I thought, "HOGWASH!"

After 2 intense years of trauma renegotiation through my beloved modality Somatic Experiencing, I had a series of spiritual breakthroughs and experienced states of reawakening. I credit SE with that gift of reconnection and I will definitely be posting about SE, because I see some definite parallels between the teachings of Abraham and Somatic Experiencing. Eventually I formed a Sixth Sensory group loosely based upon the Sonia Choquette model for meetings to connect with your tribe, as she terms it. I came away from that two year experience with a LOT of knowledge, some very good friends and some very wonderful acquaintances. But the biggest gift was my true introduction to the teachings of Abraham. The Secret was the big phenom of the moment and after I did some internal eye-rolling, I decided to check out Abraham. Hay House Radio was free in those days and the Hicks's had their own show which I downloaded late one night before thought I was going to bed around midnight. I thought I'd listen for just a minute, but Esther's voice and the amazing material was just too compelling. Covered in goosebumps and feeling very happy, I instantly entered the Vortex. I had very little material to work with then--I wasn't a subscriber, I didn't own a book--so I would sometimes copy down parts of the seminars that seemed applicable. I even copied down pages and pages in an attempt to grasp and hold onto the teachings. It felt slippery to me. I'd hear a brilliant idea and I'd vow that I was going to practice it only to forget. One of the first things I remember doing, which I still use today, is to catch myself in the middle of a negative thought, and say, "Oh, I'm doing that thing that I do (that keeps me from connecting to source). Aren't I precious?" This still works for me.

And while I listened to Abraham (pretty much daily), and thought about Abraham (a LOT), it has taken me a while to really get it. I am really getting it now. In the past I hoped to get into the Vortex. Now I get into the Vortex purposefully almost every day and I'm staying in for longer and longer. So many amazing things have occurred since I've known Abraham (just got back from Europe!), but now that I am deliberately getting in, I see that the Universe is delivering me all kinds of cool things (signs, messages, gifts, compliments, encounters, premonitions, hunches, new friends, and best of all FUN). I've been casually documenting these occurrences, but I had the idea of blogging from the Vortex and about the Vortex and Vortex Diary seemed like a very good title. I'm also planning to create another Twitter account if I can do that (?) in addition to my current JudyFrida Twitter identity. I plan to call that Notes From the Vortex.

So, here's my first diary entry:
I meditated for 10 minutes last week after I'd schlumped around out of the Vortex mostly for a full day or two (aren't I precious?). My timer went off and I realized that I was on the edge of the Vortex, but just not quite in. I looked at my mantel area which I have decorated with many beautiful things. I saw the pair of white porcelain hands I have carefully arranged on either side of a black clock. "Mmmmm," I thought, "look at those hands. They are so beautiful," and boom, there I was in the Vortex. I had a phenomenal day and just milked being "in".

The next day I went swimming in the Vortex. I had meditated and done a focus wheel in the morning and I was solidly in by the time I got to the pool. I love the water and my usual routine is a half hour of laps and 15 minutes of water weights. And often I'm the only one doing laps for more than 10 minutes, but on my vortextual visit that day, there was a woman who had brought her own mat for stretching; she had fins, good goggles, and a pull buoy. She was there to do LAPS. Cool, I thought, I'll bet she's a good swimmer. She was. She got into the pool about 2 minutes before I did and when I reached the end of my usual 30 minutes, she was still swimming. Hmmm, I wonder how long she's gonna swim. Since I was in the Vortex, I felt like I could swim forever, and I decided to match her. We swam for about 15 more minutes and I started doing my water weights. She was at the other end of the pool doing some stretches and I was observing. At one point she pressed her hands flat against the wall just above the waterline as she submerged her head and body for about a minute. Inside my chest arose a pink frothy wave of joy. Her hands were placed in exactly the same configuration as those porcelain hands on my mantle. Such a lovely sign from the Universe, which I took to mean, "Keep it up, kiddo, you're doing very well."

Thanks, Abraham!

P.S. I had to move the hands off the mantel shelf to get a decent pic, though it got dark while I was posting.