Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Abraham: Celebrating Big Egos and Other Stuff

I've really been enjoying reducing the clarity setting in Photoshop to make these dreamy-feeling effects.

Earlier Vortex Diaries reveal some of my history in 12-Step programs, which provided stepping stones out of a life I had surely outgrown and into one I naively imagined would permanently quench my thirst for happiness. Well, Honey... (have Whoopie Goldberg read this line in your head, please) things didn't quite go down  that way. Even before Charlotte Davis Kasl published her controversial Many Roads, One Journey: Moving Beyond the 12 Steps in 1992, I had been in a secret wrestling match with the concept of humility, one of the pillars of Bill W.'s amazing offering to the modern world. One point that Kasl makes very wisely, I believe, is that many of us women have patterns of humbling ourselves in ways that actually fuel the addictive cycle. I would boldly expand that notion to include both sexes and go out on an egotistical limb to proclaim:


There, I've said it! I, whose parents stomped out any lick of self-esteem to prevent a wildfire of conceit they feared would consume me and spread to my five younger siblings. And what was up with that? Since I am in the Vortex as I write this, I can see that they believed that innoculating their brood against big-headedness was the responsibility of any good parent. I am not alone. Most of us received, from numerous cultural messengers, reinforcement of the belief that the ego is the enemy. Well, I'm getting up on my high horse right now, too smart for my own good and too big for my britches, to toot my own horn all high and mighty to pompously and shamelessly bluster that I agree with what Abraham is saying these days. It's good to be egotistical. We are genius creators who are meant to be joyously conceited. I declare it publicly for the first time today, but Honey... (cue Whoopie one more time) deep down inside, I've known it all along. I've known it all along because Source has been there all along calling me toward my genius. 

Raise your hand right now if I've shocked you. I'm going to sit here for a minute and picture that. I'm going to practice not giving a rip whether I see a room, a stadium or even a sea full of raised hands. I'm going to picture Oprah and Eckhart Tolle sadly commiserating over my misguided celebration of ego. I'm going to love them and their beliefs, which, after all, aren't far off from mine. Hell, I'm even going to love any and everyone who would doom me to eternal damnation if they could. I'm loving you and them all because I'm in the Vortex and love is the best-feeling thought of all.

Lately, I've questioned my in-the-Vortex status. I have experienced a LOT of contrast lately and I've been worried. Worried that I'm attracting negative experiences and since I create it all, I must be doing something very wrong. Through some fine-tuning and chilling I've remembered that contrast creates expansion and that not only is suffering optional, it's impossible if I focus on the solution that is created in the same instant as the problem. Abraham states it succinctly. Negative emotion tells us that:
a.) Our emotional guidance system is working.
b.) We have expanded.
c.) We're just not taking the expansion.

I've just been doing that thing that I do that prevents me from hearing the call of source. I've been holding my hand on the hot burner of my negative thoughts. I've been way too focused on reality. I've had a bad case of what-isness. AREN'T I LOVABLE? AREN'T I PRECIOUS? That's me taking the expansion. Once again, if I let go of resistance, I feel better. If I feel better, I allow the solution to show itself to me. Here are two fabulous clips from Magiro333, whom I just found on YouTube recently:

Another thing I've worried about (I am so precious!!) is that I seem to run into some pretty negative people. In fact, right after I wrote the previous paragraphs, my fabulous partner and I went to a music festival. We sat down to eat our delicious meals purchased after wandering from booth to booth to appreciate the various choices and since I was in the Vortex, the wrap I got was just great. We sat at a large table enjoying our food and a jazz group led by a neighbor of ours, whom we were pleasantly surprised to see on stage. A woman with a plate of fettucine Alfredo approached a few minutes later and asked if she could sit with us. We welcomed her and as she prepared to sit, she struggled with her paper plate a little and made some very amusing noises as she righted it and prevented the meal from taking a tumble. She looked truly troubled by this and then began to complain about the "incompetent girl" that had served her. I ignored that and commented on the good music. She agreed the band was entertaining. A few minutes later another, younger woman  joined her and began complaining about the service. When I looked at them side by side, and heard their similar griping style, I suspected they were related. I commented on their gorgeous heads of hair and learned they were mom and daughter. They both ate their entire meals and the mom said that it was the worst she'd ever eaten, which I secretly found hilarious. They tried to draw me in to their negative rant about the bad service, and I repeated a line from a comedy routine about women from Texas. "Well, bless her little heart," I said. And bless yours, I thought, as I shifted back to seeing them through the eyes of Source instead of judging their judging.

Later, as we watched an entertaining band and I shook shoulders and stomped and yelled in appreciation, I was also impressed by the couple next to us who kept getting up to dance. They looked pretty darned good out there and seemed to really enjoy it. When the band ended, we chatted and I introduced myself and my partner. They began bickering a bit over who was right about whether there was more entertainment. It was soft and joky at first, but it began to escalate, so we excused ourselves and left. I wondered why I would witness yet another negative interaction. Of course, the minute I got home, I went to YouTube, and as usual, one of the first clips I found answered that question immediately. One of the most basic of Abraham's teachings is that we need all kinds of rascals around us to create the contrast that leads to our expansion. If we're seeing them through the eyes of Source, we're taking the expansion. Abraham says it so well and with such humor:

So, long story short, quit worrying so much. The Universe is on my side. Things are always working out for me. Thanks again to Abraham and all of you who work as cooperative components in the expansion of the Universe.